Interracial Marriages Surge Across the U.S.
By DAVID CRARY
Kim, a white woman raised on Cape Cod, met Al, who is black, in 1993 after she came to Jackson's Tougaloo College to study history. Together, they run Cool Al's - a popular hamburger restaurant - while raising a 12-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter in the state with the nation's lowest percentage (0.7) of multiracial residents.
The children are homeschooled, Kim said, because Jackson's schools are largely divided along racial lines and might not be comfortable for biracial children. She said their family triggered a wave of "white flight" when they moved into a mostly white neighborhood four years ago - "People were saying to my kids, 'What are you doing here?"'
"Making friends here has been really, really tough," Kim said. "I'll go five years at a time with no white friends at all."
Yet some of the worst friction has been with her black in-laws. Kim said they accused her of scheming to take over the family business, and there's been virtually no contact for more than a year.
"Everything was race," Kim said. "I was called 'the white devil."
Her own parents in Massachusetts have been supportive, Kim said, but she credited her mother with foresight.
"She told me, 'Your life is going to be harder because of this road you've chosen - it's going to be harder for your kids,"' Kim said. "She was absolutely right."
Al Stamps said he is less sensitive to disapproval than his wife, and tries to be philosophical.
"I'm always cordial," he said. "I'll wait to see how people react to us. If I'm not wanted, I'll move on."
It's been easier, if not always smooth, for other couples.
Major Cox, a black Alabamian, and his white wife, Cincinnati-born Margaret Meier, have lived on the Cox family homestead in Smut Eye, Ala., for more than 20 years, building a large circle of black and white friends while encountering relatively few hassles.
"I don't feel it, I don't see it," said Cox, 66, when asked about racist hostility. "I live a wonderful life as a nonracial person."
Meier says she occasionally detects some expressions of disapproval of their marriage, "but flagrant, in-your-face racism is pretty rare now."
Cox - an Army veteran and former private detective who now joins his wife in raising quarter horses - longs for a day when racial lines in America break down.
"We are sitting on a powder keg of racism that's institutionalized in our attitudes, our churches and our culture," he said, "that's going to destroy us if we don't undo it."
In many cases, interracial families embody a mix of nationalities as well as races. Michelle Cadeau, born in Sweden, and her husband, James, born in Haiti, are raising their two sons as Americans in racially diverse West Orange, N.J., while teaching them about all three cultures.
"I think the children of families like ours will be able to make a difference in the world, and do things we weren't able to do," Michelle Cadeau said. "It's really important to put all their cultures together, to be aware of their roots, so they grow up not just as Swedish or Haitian or American, but as global citizens."
Meanwhile, though, there are frustrations - such as school forms for 5-year-old Justin that provide no option for him to be identified as multiracial.
"I'm aware there are going to be challenges," Michelle said. "There's stuff that's been working for a very long time in this country that is not going to work anymore."
The boom in interracial marriages forced the federal government to change its procedures for the 2000 census, allowing Americans for the first time to identify themselves by more than one racial category.
About 6.8 million described themselves as multiracial - 2.4 percent of the population - adding statistical fuel to the ongoing debate over what race really means.
Kerry Ann Rockquemore, professor of African-American studies at the University of Illinois-Chicago, is the daughter of a black father and white mother, and says she is asked almost daily how she identifies herself.
The surge in interracial marriage comes at "a very awkward moment" in America's long struggle with racism, she says.
"We all want deeply and sincerely to be beyond race, to live in a world where race doesn't matter, but we continue to see deep racial disparities," Rockquemore said. "For interracial families, the great challenge is when the kids are going to leave home and face a world that is still very racialized."
The stresses on interracial couples can take a toll. The National Center for Health Statistics says their chances of a breakup within 10 years are 41 percent, compared to 31 percent for a couple of the same race.
In some categories of interracial marriage, there are distinct gender-related trends. More than twice as many black men marry white women as vice versa, and about three-fourths of white-Asian marriages involve white men and Asian women.
C.N. Le, a Vietnamese-American who teaches sociology at the University of Massachusetts, says the pattern has created some friction in Asian-American communities.
"Some of the men view the women marrying whites as sellouts, and a lot of Asian women say, 'Well, we would want to date you more, but a lot of you are sexist or patriarchal,"' said Le, who attributes the friction in part to gender stereotypes of Asians that have been perpetuated by American films and TV shows.
Kelley Kenney, a professor at Kutztown University in Pennsylvania, is among those who have bucked the black-white gender trend. A black woman, she has been married since 1988 to a fellow academic of Irish-Italian descent, and they have jointly offered programs for the American Counseling Association about interracial couples.
Kenney recalled some tense moments in 1993 when, soon after they moved to Kutztown, a harasser shattered their car window and placed chocolate milk cartons on their lawn. "It was very powerful to see how the community rallied around us," she said.
Kenney is well aware that some blacks view interracial marriage as a potential threat to black identity, and she knows her two daughters, now 15 and 11, will face questions on how they identify themselves.
"For older folks in the black community," she said "it's a feeling of not wanting people to forget where they came from."
Yet some black intellectuals embrace the surge in interracial marriages and multiracial families; among them is Harvard law professor Randall Kennedy, who addressed the topic in his latest book, "Interracial Intimacies: Sex, Marriage, Identity, and Adoption."
"Malignant racial biases can and do reside in interracial liaisons," Kennedy wrote. "But against the tragic backdrop of American history, the flowering of multiracial intimacy is a profoundly moving and encouraging development."
That concludes our 2 part story on interracial marriage. In closing, I would just like to say, "it is time to move forward". Based on all the things I have "remembered" and learned over the last few months, "we are all the same". What difference does it make as to what race or color we are? Our souls are all incarneated here on this planet, in this dimension as "humans".
As one of my friends commented on part 1 of this story, "the great by-product of interracial marriage is the off spring of such unions, which are more open minded and experienced from more than one side of the proverbial coin". "Through them, we can start tearing down the barriers of race and prejudice". Amen to that! For all of you "lost" souls that cannot subscribe to this premise, "you need to OPYN Your Mindz"!
"What we think about and thank about is what we bring about"
Bobby Sharpewww.myspace.com/akuasharpe BobbySharpe.blogspot.com
By DAVID CRARY
Kim, a white woman raised on Cape Cod, met Al, who is black, in 1993 after she came to Jackson's Tougaloo College to study history. Together, they run Cool Al's - a popular hamburger restaurant - while raising a 12-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter in the state with the nation's lowest percentage (0.7) of multiracial residents.
The children are homeschooled, Kim said, because Jackson's schools are largely divided along racial lines and might not be comfortable for biracial children. She said their family triggered a wave of "white flight" when they moved into a mostly white neighborhood four years ago - "People were saying to my kids, 'What are you doing here?"'
"Making friends here has been really, really tough," Kim said. "I'll go five years at a time with no white friends at all."
Yet some of the worst friction has been with her black in-laws. Kim said they accused her of scheming to take over the family business, and there's been virtually no contact for more than a year.
"Everything was race," Kim said. "I was called 'the white devil."
Her own parents in Massachusetts have been supportive, Kim said, but she credited her mother with foresight.
"She told me, 'Your life is going to be harder because of this road you've chosen - it's going to be harder for your kids,"' Kim said. "She was absolutely right."
Al Stamps said he is less sensitive to disapproval than his wife, and tries to be philosophical.
"I'm always cordial," he said. "I'll wait to see how people react to us. If I'm not wanted, I'll move on."
It's been easier, if not always smooth, for other couples.
Major Cox, a black Alabamian, and his white wife, Cincinnati-born Margaret Meier, have lived on the Cox family homestead in Smut Eye, Ala., for more than 20 years, building a large circle of black and white friends while encountering relatively few hassles.
"I don't feel it, I don't see it," said Cox, 66, when asked about racist hostility. "I live a wonderful life as a nonracial person."
Meier says she occasionally detects some expressions of disapproval of their marriage, "but flagrant, in-your-face racism is pretty rare now."
Cox - an Army veteran and former private detective who now joins his wife in raising quarter horses - longs for a day when racial lines in America break down.
"We are sitting on a powder keg of racism that's institutionalized in our attitudes, our churches and our culture," he said, "that's going to destroy us if we don't undo it."
In many cases, interracial families embody a mix of nationalities as well as races. Michelle Cadeau, born in Sweden, and her husband, James, born in Haiti, are raising their two sons as Americans in racially diverse West Orange, N.J., while teaching them about all three cultures.
"I think the children of families like ours will be able to make a difference in the world, and do things we weren't able to do," Michelle Cadeau said. "It's really important to put all their cultures together, to be aware of their roots, so they grow up not just as Swedish or Haitian or American, but as global citizens."
Meanwhile, though, there are frustrations - such as school forms for 5-year-old Justin that provide no option for him to be identified as multiracial.
"I'm aware there are going to be challenges," Michelle said. "There's stuff that's been working for a very long time in this country that is not going to work anymore."
The boom in interracial marriages forced the federal government to change its procedures for the 2000 census, allowing Americans for the first time to identify themselves by more than one racial category.
About 6.8 million described themselves as multiracial - 2.4 percent of the population - adding statistical fuel to the ongoing debate over what race really means.
Kerry Ann Rockquemore, professor of African-American studies at the University of Illinois-Chicago, is the daughter of a black father and white mother, and says she is asked almost daily how she identifies herself.
The surge in interracial marriage comes at "a very awkward moment" in America's long struggle with racism, she says.
"We all want deeply and sincerely to be beyond race, to live in a world where race doesn't matter, but we continue to see deep racial disparities," Rockquemore said. "For interracial families, the great challenge is when the kids are going to leave home and face a world that is still very racialized."
The stresses on interracial couples can take a toll. The National Center for Health Statistics says their chances of a breakup within 10 years are 41 percent, compared to 31 percent for a couple of the same race.
In some categories of interracial marriage, there are distinct gender-related trends. More than twice as many black men marry white women as vice versa, and about three-fourths of white-Asian marriages involve white men and Asian women.
C.N. Le, a Vietnamese-American who teaches sociology at the University of Massachusetts, says the pattern has created some friction in Asian-American communities.
"Some of the men view the women marrying whites as sellouts, and a lot of Asian women say, 'Well, we would want to date you more, but a lot of you are sexist or patriarchal,"' said Le, who attributes the friction in part to gender stereotypes of Asians that have been perpetuated by American films and TV shows.
Kelley Kenney, a professor at Kutztown University in Pennsylvania, is among those who have bucked the black-white gender trend. A black woman, she has been married since 1988 to a fellow academic of Irish-Italian descent, and they have jointly offered programs for the American Counseling Association about interracial couples.
Kenney recalled some tense moments in 1993 when, soon after they moved to Kutztown, a harasser shattered their car window and placed chocolate milk cartons on their lawn. "It was very powerful to see how the community rallied around us," she said.
Kenney is well aware that some blacks view interracial marriage as a potential threat to black identity, and she knows her two daughters, now 15 and 11, will face questions on how they identify themselves.
"For older folks in the black community," she said "it's a feeling of not wanting people to forget where they came from."
Yet some black intellectuals embrace the surge in interracial marriages and multiracial families; among them is Harvard law professor Randall Kennedy, who addressed the topic in his latest book, "Interracial Intimacies: Sex, Marriage, Identity, and Adoption."
"Malignant racial biases can and do reside in interracial liaisons," Kennedy wrote. "But against the tragic backdrop of American history, the flowering of multiracial intimacy is a profoundly moving and encouraging development."
That concludes our 2 part story on interracial marriage. In closing, I would just like to say, "it is time to move forward". Based on all the things I have "remembered" and learned over the last few months, "we are all the same". What difference does it make as to what race or color we are? Our souls are all incarneated here on this planet, in this dimension as "humans".
As one of my friends commented on part 1 of this story, "the great by-product of interracial marriage is the off spring of such unions, which are more open minded and experienced from more than one side of the proverbial coin". "Through them, we can start tearing down the barriers of race and prejudice". Amen to that! For all of you "lost" souls that cannot subscribe to this premise, "you need to OPYN Your Mindz"!
"What we think about and thank about is what we bring about"
Bobby Sharpewww.myspace.com/akuasharpe BobbySharpe.blogspot.com
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